On 2011winter(December9th) our school took our school's students to ski camp. Thus, we went to Hueng Sung. When we reached, there was other school's students. Thus, there was many peoples.(approximately500 peoples.
In dormitory, we saw a rooms, and it ws very wide and good. Thus, the war started. , to get good and wide room.
Firstly, 6th graders get sofa, television, pillowsand a bed quilt.
Secondly, 5th graders get wide room, big mirror,and drawer.
Lastly there was just one 4th grader, so he used with us.(6th gradrs)
When we finished the war, we went to ski. First day it was borded. Because we just practiced to ride ski drawing S.
Second day, it was very fun we rode a lift and we ride ski ver y fastly.Moreover, there was a recration time,. we danced and played very happily.(especially 5th graders)
Third day it was very sad. I said 'bye bye' to teachers and came back to home
Gyuwon,
답글삭제It seems like you had fun skiing in this story. As this activity is a descriptive essay, I wish that you had described in detail how the ski resort looked like and how you felt before, during and after that experience -- this would have been a very compelling essay. Please watch out for spelling and grammatical errors (tenses, syntax). I would also like to suggest using more varied vocabulary.
Thank you and I look forward to reading more of your blog entries. Happy new year and see you in class!